Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Daily Top 5>>> 6/24/08

  • "Robert Mugabe" - Holy Zimbabwe!! I would never put a despotic megalomaniac who once told media "...let me be a Hitler ten-fold" in the Top 5 for positive reasons. I came across a story today reporting Mugabe's refusal to cede power regardless of the outcome of Zimbabwe's upcoming elections. Hmmmm. At face value, this sounds a little familiar. A man at the forefront of a nation's government knows precisely what's "right for his country", and not even the popular vote can change that.

  • "Splenda" - I changed my diet about a month ago: only lean meats, yogurt and fruit for snacks, as little processed food as possible (the Hostess rule), no pop, lots of water and tea, etc. Not to lose weight; if you've seen me once in life you know that's the last thing I need. As hard as it was to say goodbye to it, the drowsy feeling I had after inhaling my half of a deep-dish pizza (otherwise known as the "itis") wasn't worth the ecstasy during consumption. Splenda comes in because I can now drink sweet tea again without having to explain anything to my dentist.

  • "Traffic Cops" - How do you get stuck with such a useless job? Most people spend months in Driver's Ed learning how to handle stop signs. The person on your right goes before you, that's usually how it goes. The rest is common sense, on about a 4th grade level. It took me 7 minutes to get through the intersection at 31st and Ashland today because of an overcautious traffic cop.

  • "Egyptian Musk" - Screw $60 Abercrombie or Marc Jacob cologne. You too Diddy. I've been a musk man since puberty and it's the way to go. Besides the fact that you can cop for 5 bucks on any CTA train except the Brown Line, there's a reason Egyptian Musk has been around so long. This is where "a little goes a long way" came from.

  • "Double Standards" - Amy Winehouse is a crackhead. People know this. She's perhaps the most well-respected crackhead in the Western world. Multiple Grammy awards, millions of records sold, worldwide tours. Her fans love her. Yet she smokes rocks. I don't understand. Furthermore, it baffles me why Winehouse, who's in the news more for this than singing, gets a pass while Whitney Houston is the butt of more jokes than OJ. Whitney was infinitely more talented than Winehouse ever will be, even when she's cracked out. Plus Houston was classier (Amy Winehouse's biggest hit is about not wanting to rehab!). Crack is wack, even when Amy Winehouse does it.

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