Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Daily Top 5>>> 7/2/08

  • "Family Hiring" - Makes me look hypocritical but here it goes. I dislike, and subconsciously envy, people who are born into high-level jobs. Especially if they suck at them. This includes presidencies, sports ownership, and real estate dynasties. Of course, this comes from a guy who's only worked for his aunt, uncle, and mother, and whose current job title is "Photo/Video Archivist" for his mother's summer camp at IIT.



  • "Will Call" - The perfect system for people, like myself, who tend to lose valuable pieces of paper. I just ordered an IMAX ticket for a showing of The Dark Knight and it will be waiting comfortably at the Navy Pier will call for me to come pick it up at my leisure. Going to the will call window always puts a smile on your face and a false sense of importance in your mind. You can't help but to chuckle at the chumps in the *ha!* box office lines while you stroll to the empty will call and are greeted by name.

  • "Alexei Ramirez" - You can't help but to like a "rookie" hitting .300 for you in the 8 spot. Not to mention the solid defense and great speed. He's listed at 28 or 29, but I mean they say Jose Contreras is 37. He probably is 30+ but as long as he keeps playing the way he does who cares. If it were up to me, he'd be the hands-down Rookie of the Year in the AL. But who I am kidding, that'll probably go to some punk on the Yankees or Red Sox. Let us continue...



  • "East Coast Bias" - ...to the next one. I'm not gonna pile on the obvious target here. ESPN is based on the East Coast so I can understand their I-95 heavy coverage. It'd be weird if, say, the Tribune gave equal press to crime in Phoenix. Nevertheless, it's not just sports, though that's the root of my newfound dislike for Boston. Whenever you hear about the "best" anything in the world, it's from New York City: hot dogs, pizza (c'mon), organized crime, even just the city. And it goes a lot deeper than greasy food. I guess it's just because this country slaughtered it's first Native Americans in New England. But seriously, we consider Ivy League universities the country's finest when that hasn't been the case for 50 years. We consider Broadway theatre the country's finest when there are Tony-award winners in every corner of the nation. And we consider NYC the fashion and art capital of the country still, too scared to anger those in the 212 by showing them the work of others. Plus, the MLB AL All-Stars might as well be called the Boston Yankees every year. I'll be living with a kid from Boston, a good friend, in a few months. He won't be seeing this post.
  • "Cold Showers" - Hot air rises. We know this. So whenever the temperature hits 90 and the dew point tops 70, as it did on the Far South Side today, the second floor of my home becomes the county's largest sauna. The trendiest too, complete with wireless internet and iPod speakers. I've decided to take a cold shower. As a matter of fact, within minutes of posting this I'll be shrieking like a Jason Voorhees victim as the chilly water hits me. Sure my sperm count may drop to Lance Armstrong levels while I'm in there, but the payoff will be well worth it. It'll put some (much needed) hair on my chest.

2 comments:

Hannah said...

Dallas this is adorable except I cannot stand for your knocking of NYC haha. Come spend a day woth me here then we'll talk : )

Vanessa said...

oh wow, your sperm level drops in cold water? That I did not know. Will Call huh? Why's it even called that?
IM EXCITED TO SEE THE DARK KNIGHT now that we're all getting reallly organized about it!