Friday, September 12, 2008

Daily Top 5 >>> 9/12/08

  • "Club Stores" Went dorm snack, toiletry, and stuff-I-probably-don't-need shopping today. Me and the moms tried to get into Sam's Club to see if they had a guest pass for "potential members"; we were just trying to get in there w/o forking up $40 for a year membership card. Negative. We were shot down quickly. It's really weird b/c these club stores are like actual clubs: Gotta show ID before they let you in, security searches you (except for pretty women), and you can buy a non-alcoholic drink while you listen to music and walk around.
  • "Wildfire" I'm still full. A great restaurant. Best key lime pie around.
  • "Differences" During what turned into a journey, my mom had to make stops at two different malls: Westfield Chicago Ridge and Oak Brook Terrace. The difference was unbelievable. The nicest clothes you could find at Chicago Ridge were at Kohl's. Nothing against anybody who shops at Kohl's, but in Oak Brook you won't find sweater vests on the khakis rack. The run of the mill joints in Oak Brook were Nordstrom's and Neiman Marcus. The world isn't fair, and Bridgeview doesn't seem like a Neiman Marcus type of community, but the upkeep of the malls could at least be close to equal.
  • "Sexism" Sarah Palin hunts animals twice her size and has to defend naming her children after mathematical studies, cities in Connecticut, and Olympic events on a daily basis. I think she could handle a question about the Bush doctrine or relations with Russia. Oops! Nope, turns out she can't. Well, Mr. Charlie Gibson, you mean mean man, she's a woman and I don't see you asking Barack Obama anything or Joe Biden answering any questions. Chauvinist pig!
  • "Priests" It's been a rough day for the priesthood. Child molestation has become the norm, unfortunately almost expected. Until recently, I thought handjobs just came with holy water. Explains why I never got into the whole church thing. Seriously though, pedophilia isn't funny; as Black Bush would say, "That shit is grrrrrross!" This just in, a U of I campus priest got picked up for selling coke? Word? Mass will be a little emptier come Sunday I guess. That, or the line will be out the door to get in.

No comments: