Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Daily Top 5 >>> 11/19/08

"Otis Redding" Listen to Otis. He could sing the thong granny panties off Mother Teresa. Easy. The "Best Of" will suffice.

  • "Gratuitous Nudity" Watched a movie in Anthro today on indigenous people in South America. The Yanomamo to be specific. It was awkward b/c the movie was trying to be completely serious and scholarly, but every 45 seconds the class would giggle at the dangling nutsacks and children breastfeeding. 3rd World Girls Gone Wild.
  • "Griddles" Best munchie-killer I've had in 19 years of life came off the griddle at Sig Ep last night. Made to order egg, cheese, and turkey sandwiches. Cooked by a drunk kid from Oklahoma in cowboy boots. Couldn't make that up. Tony, Alex, if you're reading this (which you are), we need one. Easy to clean, easier to hide. All we gotta do is cover the smoke alarm.
  • "Jumping Jacks" Glad to see King Richard and his cronies still do it for the chilluns. Chicago City Council voted to keep supplying everybody's favorite inflatable free of charge to block parties. To all of you poor, poor souls who've either not had a block party or practiced your WWF moves in a jumping jack, I'm forever grateful I'm not you. A childhood w/o jumping jacks is like an adulthood w/o titty bars. And we all know those aren't going anywhere. *Editor's Note* >>> You'd know if you've ever had a block party: There are SUVs blocking off your street, you shoot off Roman Candles at night's end, and the Electric Slide is played a minimum of 4 times. If you're missing any of these 3 things, no block party for you.
  • "Bin Laden" I personally think he's been dead for 12 years and we've just recycled old footage of him and (badly) dubbed new audio over it to make these "Osama tapes". He's a boogeyman, a ghost; how can we have an army and the alleged finest intelligence agency on the planet looking for this cat for more than 7 years and come up empty? Doesn't add up. Anywhoo (never typed that before, I swear), Al Qaida apparently isn't a fan of everybody's favorite Negro. Shocking.

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