Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Daily Top 5 >>> 12/2/08

  • "Jim Jones" Not the weak rapper, the murderous cult leader. I thought I was gonna spend my last night at home for Thanksgiving break watching some heartwarming programming with my family. I was wrong. We ended up watching a 2-hour special on Jim Jones and the Peoples' Temple on CNN and it ruined my night. Watching a documentary about an egomaniac who used religious rhetoric to convince over hundreds of (mostly poor and black) adults to poison themselves and their children isn't the best sleep aid. And why the fuck doesn't the rapper change his name? If my name was Johnathan Gacy, I wouldn't keep that. Oh and I may be just retarded, but this blew my mind when my mom told me it: the phrase "Don't drink the Kool-Aid" comes from the Jonestown arsenic Kool-Aid.
  • "Crook County" If you commit crimes, you go to jail unless you're rich. At least that's how Cook County police and politicians have put it for as long as I've been alive. So naturally Dick Durbin would beg Dubya to let ex-Gov George Ryan outta jail. Ryan is a criminal, convicted by a jury of his peers, blah, blah and all that shit. I don't care if he's old, he should serve the same thing people are calling for Plaxico to serve: "to the fullest extent of the law". It's not like he's in real jail anyway.
  • "Plaxico" And regarding Plaxico, he's probably the biggest idiot on the mainland at the moment. How embarrassed do you have to be right now? You go from catching the game-winning TD in the Super Bowl to Cheddar Bob-ing yourself in a nightclub. Even as a 6'5" pro athlete, I doubt you got any cooch that night.
  • "Sweet Potatoe Pie" I spell "potatoe" with an 'e' okay. Let it alone. Anyways, I have half the pie Mama Wright baked last night in the 225 as I type. Visitors are not welcome.
  • "Traffic Cops" Do not test them. I gambled for 2 hours in a residential permit zone Wednesday at Flosstradamus (an experience similar to taking a hit of acid before going to a reunion) and lost, relatively big. I owe the city of Chicago $60 before tomorrow night.

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