Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Daily Top 5 >>> 1/13/09

  • "4 Hours" That's how much of my life Jerry Springer owes me. I can't say I enjoyed the taping last night, but it was an experience. A completely phony, staged experience. Me, 'Toine, and Alex were front row at an uncensored PPV taping. "Girls Just Wanna Have Sex!" was the title. I wish I was making that up. Here's a quick rundown of a night that was anything but: Forced to stand up and cheer/chant by chubby 40-yr old producers, minor-league strippers enter and hop on trampolines naked, guests (who just happen to be strippers) get naked and slap each other, planted audience member flashes her titties, insert laughably-stereotypical black women and a few bad jokes by Jerry.
  • "Janan Hanna" She'll be getting good CTECs from me. No doubt about it. She's the first teacher I've ever heard use the word "clusterfuck" in the classroom and make complete sense.
  • "Role-Playing" I got to play 15-year-old Willie Myllian in Reporting & Writing today. It was pretty fun; he wasn't a fan of noun-verb agreement, or belts, but I got to make people laugh and that was pretty cool. I'd consider improv if I wasn't terrified of public speaking.
  • "Literal Interpretations" So tonight the girlies finally find out what sorority they've been allowed to join. Since that's all anybody is talking about, I've heard plenty about how Bid Night works. They show up at Leverone auditorium at 6 pm, get there bids, and sit on them for 30 minutes......like actually place their ass on top of the envelope. I wish I could be there just to watch. Not in the sick "I want to see girls cry" way. I can't imagine the awkwardness of that half-hour is all. Kim to Kelly: "So, how's your sitting been going?"
  • "People" How many people are on Earth, like 6 billion? No wait that's China. Like 7 billion. Anyway, with all those bodies, you're bound to get some strange shit every single day. From now on, don't ask me why I want to get into journalism. Here's your answer riiiiiiiiiiiight.......cheere.

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