Thursday, June 18, 2009

Daily Top 5 >>> 6/17/09

  • "PETA" I don't have a problem w/animal rights. I like a lot of animals. However, I also dislike/enjoy eating a lot of animals. PETA is like the Al Qaeda of animal rights groups. Uber-extremists. I don't know if they take leather as seriously as fur, but if a PETA nut ever dumped paint on my sneakers I'd be getting that Donte Stallworth leniency for justifiable homicide. Bet that. Anyways, Barack is catching some ridiculous flack for killing a fly on TV yesterday. Isn't this a better cause to fight for than criticizing the Prez for swatting a fly?
  • "Leniency" Our justice system just continues to surprise fail. Long story short: A sergeant in the Army - Michael Leahy Jr - executed 4 Iraqis that were tied up. He got life w/o parole. Case closed....right? Wrong. In another episode of "How Crooked Is The Justice System?", this guy's family "fought" until Leahy's sentence was reduced to 20 years with a possibility of parole after 7 years. 7 years!!? Jesus Christ. The man killed 4 people! Was there new evidence introduced? Nope. His friends and family wrote letters describing how kind and good Leahy is. Listen, I'm sure Leahy has done a lot of good things in his life. Shit, Ted Bundy probably helped an old lady or two across a busy street, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a murderer. Leahy is just as evil, if not moreso, than the soldier who killed 5 other soldiers last month. Too bad Iraqi lives are apparently worth 20% less than American lives.
  • "Bin Laden" I don't know why I thought about Osama today, but I did. Mostly thought about how absurd it is that he's as accessible as Santa Claus. How on Earth can somebody hide from the CIA, FBI, Army, Navy, Air Force and Dick Cheney for 8 years? We have police cameras over on 111th and State Street right now that can identify faces from a mile away; the feds can't do any better? And they apparently know where he is? It's on Wikipedia!! I'll say what I've believed for years: Bin Laden is the Bogeyman. The government had to put a face on 9/11 because their intel was is so royally screwed up and Bin Laden was good enough. He's probably been dead for years.
  • "John Danks" On a much lighter note, for Sox fans, Danks dominated the Cubs yesterday. It was a pleasure to watch. That's really all I have to say about that. Oh, and it's amazing that the Good Guys are playing better baseball without Carlos Quentin and Jim Thome in the lineup.
  • "Fuckery"

    Props to Fake Shore Drive. This is probably the bets music video I've seen this year. Jheri curls will always be funny, but using "Every Girl" as fodder is golden. The original song is goofy - nobody wants to f&%$ every girl in the world, trust me - so the spoof is that much better. "Wetter Curl" > "Every Girl".

No comments: