Monday, August 17, 2009

Daily Top 5 >>> 8/17/09

  • "Usain Bolt"

    They better go to Mars to find somebody or unfreeze Bullet Bob Hayes, get some DNA, and get to genetic engineering, b/c there's N-O-B-O-D-Y on this planet that can beat Bolt in a sprint. Nobody. He's beating the "best runners in the world" by 5-10 meters! Tyson Gay ran the best race of his entire life yesterday, the third best 100M time ever, and Bolt ate it for breakfast. Unbelievable. He told the BBC he wants to hit 9.4 in the future, and, as retarded/stupid/Don King-hyperbolic as that sounds, I think he can do it.
  • "Goons" Milwaukee gets slept on in this category. Not anymore though. The mayor got beat down at the State Fair over the weekend with a lead pipe; he injected himself into a "heated argument" b/t a couple. Now, there are a lot of things wrong with this scenario. One, who carries around lead pipes any more? I thought the invention of gunpowder and the ability to forge metal into sharp things had pushed lead pipes outta the weapons game? Secondly (I don't even think that's a word but hey), this mayor must be newly elected. If Milwaukee citizens carry around lead pipes at the fair, they obviously are not hiding the fact that they will f*** somebody up. It's unfortunate this mayor had to learn that fact through experience.
  • "Jay Cutler" QBs throw interceptions all the time. It's not the end of the world. What does worry me about Jay Cutler is that he threw Devin Hester under the bus immediately after the game. Not the best way to make a good impression.
  • "Groceries" My mom left me a shopping list and cash to go to Dominick's this afternoon. Big mistake. Now I'll have enough Buttermilk Eggos and Ben & Jerry's Half Baked to last me....a week.

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