Thursday, May 13, 2010

Daily Top 5 >>> 5/13/10

  • "Fuckery"

    An alternative sports league is making some waves on the innernets today. The 420 Football League (420FL) has been contacted by the league after their logo was discovered. I'm confused as to why logo rights are what the league is griping about, seeing as games in the 420FL are won by holding bong rips in as long as possible. These guys probably get Hubble Telescope high after one game. Props TBL.
  • "Nature"

    The ocean is a scary place. Actually, the entire world is. There's plenty of shit out there that will eat you without hesitation. Or difficulty. Things like this giant octopus, for example. Not only is it like 15 feet long and can blend in with its surroundings - imagine your Ford Explorer being able to camouflage itself - but it will also end you with a quickness. C'mon. This thing just caught and killed a shark in like 2 minutes. I don't even think octopi have mouths, it just killed the shark b/c he was annoyed with all the swimming going on. Imagine what it'd do to you. Props HuffPost.
  • "Grass" I think this is a cultural thing. For as long as I can remember, I've been told to "keep your ass of the grass." I don't know why Black people have such an intense protectiveness of their lawns, or where it came from. I just know that you don't walk on somebody's grass, especially if you don't know them. Just ask Joshua Funches. Actually, wait, you can't. He just got killed for letting his dog do the do on another guys lawn. A man is dead so I'll keep it pretty tasteful, but do we really have to keep it all the way G while we're walking the dog? If my dog shits in a yard and a guy comes out with a strap pointed at me, I doubt the first thing out of my mouth would even be coherent, let alone "Next time you pull out a pistol, why don't you use it?" Props Sun Times.
  • "Mike Tyson"

    When I make it big and start making TV shows or whatever, I'm getting Mike Tyson on my shit. Period. He's the funniest athlete ever. And not even in an intentional way. More like in an Eli Porter-type of way. Check out the masterpiece that is Tea With Tyson....."Please, toast with me." Props HuffPost.
  • "Desperation" We already know that the Cavs are done. What we don't know is where LeBron will end up next year. I hope to god that it isn't New York, but, in light of the Scores strip club offer he's received, I can fully understand LeBron going to the Knicks. The NYC Scores has promised James "access to the ladies of Scores for the rest of his life" if he plays for the Knicks next season. That's code for "You can bang all the strippers in my club, LeBron. Just hook me up with some floor seats," but still. Hell of a signing bonus if you ask me. Props TBL.


DSD said...

How did you find that Mike Tyson video? I'm dying.

dallaswright921 said...

haha just during when i check all the blogs i check.

i bet he had mad security there too