- "Bobby Jenks" It hurts to say it, but Bobby has got to go. Not leave the Sox closer position, he needs to be gone. Off the squad. I'm probably overreacting because he almost gave away a 4-run lead today in the bottom of the 9th, but bear with me. Jenks has coasted off of 2005 and 2006. He burst on the scene during the Sox championship run as the fat country boy who could throw 101 mph. That was cool, especially since he was closing out World Series games, but that seems like it was eons ago. Bobby is still fat and country, but now he's overpaid and only throws 95 mph. Usually outside the strike zone. He's getting paid $7.5 million for a 5+ ERA and more hits allowed than strikeouts. Gimme Matt Thornton.
- "Pi Phi" Ohio University's chapter gets it in. And out. And in again. Aside from giving up the draws any and everywhere at their formal, the sorority sisters did about $47,000 in damage. People were "vomiting everywhere, defecating in urinals, flipping over buffet tables and storming the bar when refused service." Rowdy. You can read the entire damage report over on The Smoking Gun. The kicker for me is the sign-off the host venue gives the Pi Phis: "Needless to say, your sorority will no longer be welcome in our facility."
EMBED-Ardi Rizal - The real SMOKING BABY !! - Watch more free videos
This little Sumatran baby smokes 2 packs of cigs a day. No word on how his baby teeth are doing despite all this. And he's still pretty fat for a chain smoker. Maybe his pops is on to something by taking the "fuck it" approach. Props HuffPost.
- "Oprah" Taju, Ike, Eryn, Kira and I talked about this last night. How would you spend your money if you were absurdly wealthy? "Oprah rich", if you will. Like a lot of people surely would if they actually had billions of dollars at their disposal, I said I'd spend my money obnoxiously. Everything I invested my money in would have my name on it: university buildings, skyscrapers, candy. Oprah beat me to it, though. The Oprah Store will soon be opening at Water Tower Place. Now everybody's mom's will be getting Oprah foot lotion and Oprah exfoliating cream for Mother's Day. Props ChiTrib.