Thursday, May 6, 2010

Daily Top 5 >>> 5/6/10

  • "Fuckery" Lawrence Taylor is the greatest pass rusher in the history of American football. He's also the biggest dumbass in sports. The original LT got scooped up yesterday for raping a teenage prostitute in an NY hotel. I can just hear Mikey now: "C'mooooooooon, LT". C'mon is right, though. On the list of the Top 10 Things That Will Get You Gangraped And/Or Murdered In Prison, "teenage girl rape" finishes a close second to "molesting children from the Make A Wish Foundation". And I hope LT goes to jail if he is proven guilty. For a long time too. This chick was beaten during the course of the attack, and LT doesn't exactly have the cleanest police record. I still wouldn't say it to his face, but fuck LT.
  • "Us Versus Them" The clothing label put out a super dope tee in light of BP's epic fail in the Gulf Coast. The name of the shirt? "Fuck BP." Simple, yet effective. You can pre-order the shirt here; half the dough you spend will go to the cleanup effort in the Gulf. Boy, whoever decided to flip that Sherwin Williams logo is a genius... Props Hypebeast.
  • "The DL" It's been a bad day for famous old people and sex workers. George Alan Rekers, a leader of the anti-gay movement that I just learned existed, was caught walking off a plane with a male hooker he'd been getting serviced by during his European vacation. Damn. There's so much slipping going on here on so many different levels and continents. First off, I don't care if you're the leader of the anti-Scrabble movement, don't get off planes with hookers. Second, if you want to be an anti-gay leader and engage in pro-gay sex for money, use Craiglist or something man. C'mon. How are you gonna go on a site called and expect not to get caught? Lastly, when you get caught, come up with a better excuse than "I was trying to save his sinning soul." Really, George? How righteous a lifestyle can you be living with male hookers on vacation in Europe?
  • "Fuckery. The Sequel." I can't remember a day with as much holy-shit-am-I-reading-The-Onion? news as today. I saw this headline on Huffington Post just now:"2 Men Jailed For Eating Teen In Russia: 'We Were Hungry'" They were "hungry"? I almost didn't read the story because I just knew these dudes were getting the firing squad. It's Russia for Christ's sake. But, out of curiosity, I read the story. Turns out cannibalistic murder isn't much of a high crime in Russia. *LT, maybe you shoulda moved out there.* These crazy dudes got 19 and 18 years. Now, 19 years in a Russian prison is like 40 in an American one, but c'mon, they killed and ate a chick. And their only explanation was that they were hungry! They give people more time for selling drugs!
  • "Jellybean Bikes" This Aussie bike vendor lets you color customize every single part of your bike. The site is still being worked on, but I'll be stacking some money up to get my gunmetal frame and black wheel combo. Props High Snobiety.

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