Monday, June 14, 2010

Daily Top 5 >>> 6/14/10

  • "Beasts" That's what Chicago breeds. Natural selection has got to be real, b/c, after decades of catching bullets, we've evolved. Now cats are literally eating slugs. A South Side man got shot in the mouth early this morning. Instead of pussying out and dying like humans not from the 773/312 area code, dude simply touched his suddenly well-ventilated face and spit the bullet and a couple teeth out. He was in and out of the hospital before work even started. Props HuffPost.
  • "Boredom" This made me laugh. Props HMJ.
  • "Fuckery"



    They don't teach you how to handle this situation in Medill. Peep Congressman Bob Etheridge sonning some poor college kid on the street. This is pretty funny shit, mostly b/c this kid is essentially grown, with at least one friend, and Etheridge looks like he test drove Model T Fords back in the day. What's with the No Country For Old Men voice? "Who are yu? Who are yu?" What a bad-ass old man, and a bitch-ass little kid. I woulda blurred my face out too. Props HuffPost.
  • "Surveillance" If you didn't already know, most surveillance - and even some bombing - missions are carried out by drone military aircraft. Aka current day aerial warfare is essentially a Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 mini-game. Well, what's the next logical step after terrorizing other nation's citizens with robot death planes?....Terrorizing our nation's citizens with robot death planes! The fuck? Police are envisioning using these planes to "scope the driver's licenses of speeding cars...and even track and disable fleeing suspects." That's some movie shit for real. Only a matter of time before social service agencies are using the drones to snuff out deadbeat dads for child support payments. The world is ending. Props Trib.
  • "Big K.R.I.T." If you don't already have K.R.I.T. Wuz Here, well thar she blows. Thank me later.

1 comment:

Logan said...

Love the surveillance sub-heading. That got me to laugh out loud.