Thursday, December 16, 2010

Daily Top 5 >>> 12/16/10

  • "Injuries" Over the past two weeks, the Bulls were playing the kind of basketball people predicted them too. Boozer was back and healthy and everything was love. Now Joakim Noah, who had a shot at the All-Star Game, is gone till March. I'm not too worried though. The playoffs are a lock, and now Taj Gibson gets his chance to start.
  • "Fuckery"



    Adeze has been a goldmine this week. First, she brought me Paula Deen taking a shot of butter. Now, assorted white men making the most unhealthy meals their minds can think up. This video is strictly breakfast and, being my favorite meal of the day to eat and cook, I'm not as disgusted as I probably should be. The calorie and fat counters are just for shock value. The sheet of intertwined bacon might make an appearance at 1567 very soon. That's where it stops though. Check the Epic Meal Time page for more chaos. I advise turning the volume down.
  • "Instinct"



    I really wish a Black person was on the Bay District school board. Really. Here was a rare chance for us to get a raw, uncut look at the science behind "Black People Do This, White People Do That" jokes. This is actually a pretty fucked up story, so I'll give it a sentence of seriousness. Gunman Clay A. Duke (if that isn't the countriest name you've ever heard) went to the meeting and let off several point-blank shots, missing on every single one of them before being injured and then putting a bullet in his own dome. My school board meetings, if I'd ever attended one, may have had some stationary thrown at one point or another, but never semiautomatic gunfire. Guess that's what makes Florida so special. Again, nobody was hurt in this video. Except for Duke, who actually got hurt a lot. I took the time out to make some awards for this. Seemed fitting for some reason. "Person With The Biggest Balls" goes to purse-swinging Ginger at about 1:00. I really thought she was gonna get clapped after pulling that shit. "The Fulfilling Stereotypes" award goes to your boy in the suit. Mr. "Please Don't". Now, I don't know what I would do if a crazy man pulled a gun on me from 8 feet out. But, I do know what I wouldn't do. Included on that list is "politely ask the shooter not to shoot while I do a T-Rex impression with my arms." Duck bro! Dude is strapped! And finally, the Awesomeness Award goes to the state of Florida. Not just for providing us the citizens acting out this absurd course of events, but for allowing security guards at school board meetings to carry loaded weapons. Our obsession with guns works out sometimes after all. Props Eryn for the video.
  • "James Meeks"



    C'mon man, don't fuck it up yet. Rahm might not even be able to run b/c he doesn't think the rules apply to him. You were in good shape, and you wanna run your mouth. Not only did you say -on the radio! - that Asians and Latinos are not minorities, but when given a chance to prove that you weren't wholly retarded, you added that they aren't even people of color. Harold is rolling in his too-early grave. Via HuffPost.
  • "Kevin Hart"



    I really respect comedians that are funny in real life. By 'real life', I mean not onstage telling jokes they and their writers thought up for the 24th time. Talk shows, behind-the-scenes footage, Diddy-Dirty Money album release parties, these are the places where you can really tell who is funny. Peep Kevin Hart, who I thought was overrated until now, clown the model whose hair catches on fire in the tub. It's at about :35. She was burning for a good 4 or 5 seconds, and Hart's makes sure he does 2 things before even concerning himself with the poor chick: get his chuckles in, and make sure the cameraman got it on tape. Hilarious. Via 2DBz.

2 comments:

DSD said...

I still say props go to my nigga in the red that had a game plan. Waited till he thought dude shot Mr. Negotiator (who, after watching the long version, I realized never apologized but just talked about how he has his own problems), ducked, and exited stage muhfuckin left.

Even if he didn't miss those next shots, it was all good for him.

Dallas Wright said...

ahaha idk I'm still ridin with Ginger. She is a down chick bro she forreal thought she could beat a gun with a purse.

Considering ur boy's aim, she probably could have.