Monday, April 16, 2012

Daily Top 5 >>>4/16/12

"Dillo Day"

They say it every year, but for some reason I really see Dillo Day 2012 being especially anti-visitor. There's apparently some momentum behind the "keep the high school kids out" push and, while it'd be nice to not have to worry about statutory laws on Dillo Day, I have a problem with this. It's sad that Northwestern can't rid itself of the snobbery, on the administration's part as well as the student body's. It's a damn outdoor music festival, you should be worried about how much party drugs fun you're having. Not about who is enjoying themselves next to you and how old they are. Let the "townies" (if I was from Evanston and any of you called me that, I'd kick you in the chest like Charlie Murphy) be on Dillo Day. You just do you. I don't know why it's so hard for people here.

"Tragic Fuckery"

I felt so conflicted when I came across the front page story of the Tribune today. This is why Katt Williams speaks to me so; I instinctively got my seven chuckles in, but there's still the "oh man, somebody died" social pressure. A guy from Villa Park was kayaking over the weekend and drowned after being attacked...by an "aggressive swan". Yeah. I'll keep it respectful, but I can't help laughing at this a little bit. I understand how 1000 Ways To Die continues to exist now. Gotta be the most inglorious death in history. To all my swan readers out there, watch your back. Tomorrow on the news, there will be a CNN investigate special on killer African swans and what we need to do to survive the swarm. Even better, I say we hit the lakefill and show these web-footed bastards some vigilante justice.

"Reality"

My second conflict with the swan homicide story had to do with the news coverage. Unless you read police blotters, you probably don't know that 15 people were shot in Chicago over the weekend. Eight of them died. I don't understand how you can call "objective" any news source that prioritizes the death of one man at the hands of a bird over the deaths of eight citizens within a 15-mile radius. But I guess that's why I don't run a publication...

"Giant George"

Lotta animals in today's post. Peep Giant George of Tucson, Arizona. Dude is a Great Dane, measuring 7'3" on his hind legs and weighing in at 230 pounds. Aka Tyson Chandler. I didn't see it in the article, but I'm sure George's flawless record as a Border Patrol guard dog is somewhere on the editor's office floor. All the Ethnic Studies textbooks confiscated by the Arizona government were used to line George's doghouse. This really pushed the boundaries of stereotypes for me too; even at lottery-pick size, white folks still let the dog sleep in the bed with them.

"Coachella"


Everybody's seen the Pac hologram performance from Coachella, right? Definitely a dope idea; it was pretty surreal just watching the YouTube video, I can't imagine how being there - and on a bunch of Molly - would've felt. At the same time though, it was pretty bizarre. I don't have any grandiose explanation behind that, just that I felt weird watching. Maybe it woulda been better if they'd kept it simple and just laid actual Pac vocals over the hologram. Instead, they went the impersonator route. Boo.

No comments: